


Cause We Are Young And We’re Ashamed (Send Us To Perfect Places)

by orphan_account



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: F/F, Five and Vanya were best friends, Good Brother Ben Hargreeves, Good Brother Klaus Hargreeves, Homophobic Slurs, Lesbian Vanya Hargreeves, Sibling Bonding, Slight suggestive content in later chapters, Teenagers, They’re all pretty good siblings, Useless Lesbians, Vanya gets a gf because why not, good brother Five hargreeves, mentioned Homophobia, shes such a gay teen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-28 10:56:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20777426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Vanya doesn’t really know what love feels like, beyond indefinite familial love that is.Teenage Vanya meets a girl on a late night trip to a convenience store.





	Cause We Are Young And We’re Ashamed (Send Us To Perfect Places)

Vanya didn’t really know what love feels like. She had only experienced the feeling on few occasions, though she was never really granted any time to really  _ feel  _ anything, the pills she was forced to take made sure of that. Although she does feel such a feeling, a sense of love when with her brothers Five, Klaus or Ben, the odd time her other siblings or Mom, but her father never really seemed to like her spending time with her family. 

So no, Vanya doesn’t really know what love feels like, beyond indefinite familial love that is. 

  
  
  
  
  


Five had always made such a spectacle that she should go out, make friends, try to have a normal life outside the walls of the academy.  _ (“We don’t have a choice, but you, you could have an  _ actual _ childhood. Don’t waste it spending each second in this house. Go make friends, have fun, for god's sake break some rules, you’re too good all the time, go rob a bank or something, make me proud.”) _

She never got around to it, not until he disappeared. After that, it felt like an obligation to go on an excursion into the outside world. 

So she did,  _ not rob a bank that is _ , but left the house for a few hours. It was terrifying, the day built up lots of stress as planned her escape. When the night came, she was close to a panic attack, yet the feeling of anxiety and stress was overweight by the feeling of excitement. She bid Ben, Klaus and Mom goodnight, and retreated to her room. 

_ Make Five proud.  _

She carefully opened the window. Vanya's room was on the second floor and the fire escape didn’t pass her window, but a few bricks stuck out from the building and she was small and weighed less than an average 16 year old should, so the way down was pretty easy. 

_ Where should she go? _

There were few places open at this hour, keeping in mind she was having to walk there and back. It was probably a bad idea to walk outside at 10pm alone, especially given her small stature made her look like an easy target, but Five had taught her how to properly throw a punch a few years ago and the swiss army knife Diego had given her on their 12th birthday was tucked into her blazers pocket, so she was probably going to be fine. 

There was a convenience store, perhaps she could buy her brothers a treat, Klaus had been injured on a recent mission, she could buy him a chocolate bar or something, he’d appreciate that. Five was never one for candy, but Ben was.  _ That settles things.  _ Her hair and skirt blew in the wind as Vanya marched up the store, passed Neon sign held high up in the parking lot, she tried her best to hold her uniform skirt down to avoid the possibility of flashing her underwear to anyone who might be passing by. Vanya stepped up into the curb and opened the small metal framed door. 

A small bell rung as she entered, Vanya looked around with curiosity and awe. She’d never been in a convenience store, let alone anywhere besides the academy and Griddys. So this small, dark lit store with bright neon lights was a huge, exhilarating deal to her. 

The money she had was a gift from ben, he supported Fives initiative to get her out of the house, he wouldn’t take no for an answer when he handed her the wad of cash. The money had been sitting under her mattress, untouched for over a year until she finally worked up the courage to go out. 

_ Alright, let’s do this  _ she mentally told herself as she slowly made her way down the aisle until she found the candy. Klaus and herself shared Kitkats as their favourite chocolate bar, Ben prefered Twix. She saw something called a Coffee Crisp, she’d never heard of it, but Five used to like coffee, maybe he would have liked it? If only he was waiting at home for her to return and she could hand the candy to him and tell him all the wonderful details of her late night adventure. 

_ Whatever _ . She’ll buy it for herself. 

Vanya nodded with satisfaction at the three candy bars, she turned and walked towards the end of the aisle. 

Just as she reached the end, a girl popped out in front of her, making Vanya jump and clumsily step back. 

The girl grimaced apologetically before asking, “Hey, can I help you?” One of the girls arms was still clutching to the shelf, leaning to her left as she stood before a flustered Vanya. “I’m sorry, are you closed? I’ve never been here before…”

“No, no we’re open. I was just wondering what a pretty girl like you is doing here all alone this late.”

_ Pretty?  _ No one ever called her pretty before, only mom when complimenting her, then again she says that too all of them, (using the word handsome for her brothers). Vanya's cheeks started to heat up as she stumbled over her words. 

“Oh! Um.. I just, uh,” She held up the candy bars awkwardly. “I was just buying stuff for my brothers.”

The girl smiled. “Alright, follow me.”

She turned around and led Vanya to the cash register. Following behind, Vanya took in the details of what the girl looked like. She was her age, slightly taller. She has red hair, Vanya had never seen anyone with red hair before,  _ it was beautiful.  _ Her head was shaved over her left ear which revealed multiple piercings on her ear. Her outfit was far different from Vanyas, the girl wore a black crop top paired with ripped jeans and a flannel tied around her waist. Vanya looked at the girl with curiosity and amazement, if she left the house dressed like that her family would definitely bury her alive. 

“That’ll be $1.50.” The girl said, snapping Vanya out of her thoughts. 

She handed her the five dollar bill and tucked her hair behind her ear, the girl looked up and smiled as she rummaged the register for change. 

“Gotta say it, i've never seen a girl in a schoolgirl uniform come by before. You go to a boarding school or something?” 

“No, it’s, uh complicated.”

The girl looked at her from the top of her eyes and chuckled. “Mysterious. I like it.”

The girl let out a giggle as Vanya's face turned a bright crimson colour, her nose scrunched up as she laughed, making Vanya's heart flutter. Vanya noticed how the taller girls face was lined with a large amount of small freckles,  _ they were rather cute.  _

The girl finishes up her transaction, handing the change back to Vanya. She reluctantly takes it, her curiosity for the girl betraying her need to go back home.

“I’m Breena, by the way, but you can call me Bree.”

“Oh,” Vanya looked up from the handful of change to the girl. “I’m Vanya..”

“Pretty name, is it russian?”

“Yeah, I was born there.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah…” there was a pause before Vanya spoke. “Do you own this place or..?”

“Oh, no. My mom does, but I work here mostly. I pretty much live here.” Vanya giggled, her shoulders rising slightly. Breena smiles. 

“Well, i’ll see ya around, Vanya.”

“Y-yeah, sure. O-ok.” God, she was getting so embarrassingly flustered. 

Breena chuckled. “Come back anytime. I guarantee I'll probably be here.”

“Alright, see you later.” Vanya walked to the door, offering a small wave, which Breena returned with a chuckle, before stepping out of the store. 

As she walked into the parking lot, the cold night air blew at her burning face, cooling her down. “ _ Holy fuck. _ ” She ran a hand through her long dark hair, looking up at the black sky as the stars stared back down at her. 

She finally got back to the academy at 10:40. She laid on her back on her twin sized bed, she blew her bangs from her eyes as she stared at the ceiling, her thoughts stuck on the girl,  _ Breena.  _ She was different from anyone she’d ever met, them again she did only see the same eight people each day everyday.

She’d never liked someone the way she liked this girl, except for when she had a small crush on a musician that Klaus had showed her a few years ago. But that was different, this feeling was for another girl. 

Was that ok? Allison never talked about liking girls, she knew some people didn’t like homosexuals, but she never understood why. They weren’t a religious family, their father never bothered to teach them about that stuff. 

She remembered watching a old movie with her siblings when they were younger, a character called another a “fag”. Her siblings were much more mature when they were little due to their fathers harsh training, so she figured they’d know the definition of such a word. Curious, she asked Ben what it meant. Her brother looked at her with hesitation before responding “It’s not a nice word, I’ll tell you later.” He never did, but as she became a teenager she quickly picked up what homophobic slurs like “Dyke” and “Fagot” meant. It always troubled her when she heard such words, why would anyone warrant being called such ill mouthed insults? Of course, she wouldn’t find out until today that she would have been a target for those derogatory words. 

Was it really wrong for her to have these thoughts for another girl? 

Klaus had mentioned liking a boy once, years back. Perhaps he could help. It was the middle of the night, but if she didn’t get answers soon she’d never be able to fall asleep. 

_ Tonight definitely didn’t go as initially planned.  _

That settles things. She quickly stood up from her bed and carefully opened the door and made her way down the hall towards Klaus’ bedroom, careful not to make the floorboards creak as she moved. 

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place when the hargreeves children are 16, so around the year 2007, so homophobia is still quite a problem. I figured Vanya wouldn’t have received much knowledge about such things so I could imagine her distress when she starts questioning her sexuality.
> 
> I hope you guys like the story so far!


End file.
